Sometimes, you just have one of those days. Maybe you miss your train, you lose your phone, or your superpowers end up being the laughing stock of the hero community. While being a superhero (or villain, depending on your personal preference) sounds like it would a pretty incredible experience, a hero’s effectiveness can really only be measured by the magic, mutations, or munitions you command. Below is a comprehensive list of our selection of the top comic book characters that are better off sitting on the sidelines.
1. Arm Fall Off Boy
Have you ever wanted to bash someone over the head, but lacked the essential equipment to do it? Never fear, Arm Fall Off Boy is here! Affiliated with DC Comic’s Legion of Super-Heroes, Arm Fall Off Boy’s ability is pretty much exactly what his name implies – he can rip off his limbs and use them as blunt weapons. The hero ultimately went through a rebranding when he changed his name to Splinter, but his usefulness largely remained the same. Can anyone lend this guy a hand?
2. Eye Scream
Let’s get this out on the table now – Ice Cream is a mess. It gets everywhere, makes everything sticky, and, if eaten too fast, can even give you brain freeze. The only thing worse than Ice Cream, is Eye Scream, Marvel’s mutant master villain with the astonishing ability to turn into any flavor of ice cream he chooses.
Frustrated with the joke his genes played on him, Eye Scream took issue with the high profiled mutant heroes, The X-Men, simply because their powers might be consider by others as “cooler” than his. Unshockingly, his attempt to destroy the X-Men ended in failure. If we had to guess Eye Scream’s favorite ice cream flavor, we’d probably go with Rocky Road.
3. Matter-Eater Lad
Generally, superheroes have a lot to think about. Normally, “Does my superhero power make me look fat?” is not one of them. Unfortunately for Matter-Eater Lad, this is not the case. Like his name implies the superhero Matter-Eater Lad, or Tenzil Kem, takes a literal bite out of crime. Gifted with the ability to digest indestructible matter, Tenzil has an appetite that can’t be competed with. As part of the Legion of Super-Heroes he even saved the universe by consuming indestructible alien technology. Hard to choke down, isn’t it?
The only thing worse than being everybody’s personal doormat is being their personal door. Like many heroes, Marvel Comic’s Doorman was granted the power of teleportation. Unfortunately, Doorman’s powers could only teleport people as far as a single room away. While it might be a desirable ability when restructuring your house, it has served little to no use in fighting crime. Doorman, don’t let the door hit you on the way out.
Have you ever had the unfortunate experience of swallowing a bug? Thinking about a bug being inside of your body alone is enough to make some people hurl, but if you fully consider Marvel Comic’s superhero Maggott’s powers, you’ll realize things could get much, much worse. In addition to the unfortunate superhero alias, Maggott was given a “sentient digestive system”, comprised of two slug-like creatures living inside of his body. When he eats, Maggott unleashes the slugs on his meal, and, in turn, the creatures transmit energy back to Maggott. Some powers are better off not having.